Tag Archive: Tucker Carlson

Divine Advice for Nicki Minaj

Dear Divine Advice, As you know, my cousin’s friend’s uncle’s other nephew in Trinidad took the COVID-19 vaccine and got swollen testicles which made him impotent. I don’t currently have testicles, but I assume the vaccine will cause me to grow them, and that’s exactly the kind of side effect I’m worried about. Say what you will about ivermectin and hydroxychloroquine, but at least they don’t give you unwanted ballz that don’t even work. I’m afraid our country is becoming like China or Nazi Germany, where famous people aren’t allowed to go on Twitter and ask stupid, uninformed questions that lead to millions of their followers making equally stupid and uninformed decisions, which will exasperate the spread of an infectious disease and lead to hundreds of thousands of deaths. I never told anyone not to take the vaccine, I just told them to do their own research and to pray…
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Divine Advice For Luis Elizondo

Dear Divine Advice, Thanks to a wacky provision some QAnon-friendly Republicans on the Senate Intelligence Committee snuck into the COVID relief bill, the Pentagon now has to declassify all of their UFO documents on June 1st. That means us UFO nuts have just a few more days to cash in on this before the report reveals what we already know: that it’s all just camera artifacts, Russian drones, and NAVY pilots looking to get discharged by sounding crazy. So far, I’ve appeared on 1,247 podcasts, but because of COVID, there haven’t been any UFO cons to speak at. Obviously, I’m writing a book, but there’s no way I’m going to be able to publish it before June 1st. Sure, the hardcore nutters will still buy it after that, but I won’t get the promotional bump from the mainstream media, which will surely stop its coverage once the report comes out.…
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