Movie Review: “Dracula” is the Only Watchable Coppola Film

Ryan Klemek December 3, 2021 0 Movies and Television, Reviews Anthony Hopkins, Apocalypse Now, Bram Stoker's Dracula, C. Thomas Howell, Cam Neely, Cary Elwes, Ed Jackson, Emilio Estevez, Farrelly brothers, Francis Ford Coppola, Gary Oldman, Goodfellas, Heart of Darkness, Keanu Reeves, Marlon Brando, Martin Sheen, Matt Dillon, Ralph Macchio, Rob Lowe, The Expendables, The Matrix, The Outsiders, Theodore “Ted” Logan the third, Tom Cruise, Tom Waits, Winona Ryder

Francis Ford Coppola is an overrated hack. There, I said it. His only entertaining movie is one that most people hate: Bram Stoker’s Dracula, starring Keanu Reeves, Gary Oldman, Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins, Cary Elwes, and Tom Waits. It’s melodramatic, over-the-top, pure campy fun, and it’s completely out of character for the usually dull, pretentious FFC. But what about The Godfather? The fact that so many people say it’s their favorite movie is the most compelling piece of evidence that we’re all living in some fucked-up simulation. The one time I tried to watch this piece of garbage, I found myself staring at a vase on the shelf next to the TV because what was on the screen couldn’t keep my attention. It was a pretty handsome vase, but there weren’t even any flowers in it. Also, my neck got really sore because I kept falling asleep and my head…
Read more

Share this post:

Superhunks for the 80’s: Tom Cruise

H. Seitz December 6, 2018 0 Lifestyles Alfred E. Newman, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Born on the Fourth of July, Bridget Nielsen, Burt Reynolds, Cocktail, Days of Thunder, Far and Away, Frankenstein, Interview With a Vampire, Jackie Chan, Jerry MaGuire, Johnny Depp, Katie Holmes, Quaker Oats, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Rochard Grieco, Rocky, Scientology, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Sylvester Stallone, The Outsiders, Tom Cruise, Tom Selleck, Top Gun, Tropic Thunder, Wilford Brimley

Hunks come and hunks go, and all too many try to stick around long after their 15 minutes are up and their pecs are down. But some, like Schwarzenegger and Stallone, manage to defy father time and mother nature just enough to keep filling up the theaters. Old, broken down, and in some cases, downright creepy (Stallone’s strange hairline and old man muscle in Rocky 6 made him look like a Frankenstein’s monster of tucks and toupees from the 80s), they still have that special something that separates them from the pack. So it isn’t just the oil and the muscles, and it’s more than just a steamy stare. The material certainly helps, but there’s more to it than just that, as the wrong stud could turn a classic into a joke. Could you imagine Raiders of the Lost Ark starring Tom Selleck? Or Rocky starring Burt Reynolds? There’s a…
Read more

Share this post:

Tag Archive: The Outsiders

Movie Review: “Dracula” is the Only Watchable Coppola Film

Superhunks for the 80’s: Tom Cruise