Tag Archive: Sandy Duncan

Divine Advice For Jason Bateman

Dear DA, I’ve led a charmed life, especially for a former child actor. People were offering me blow and prostitutes by the time I was 14, and it was really difficult to say no. To be honest, I didn’t say no all the time. What 15 year old boy could turn down an 8-ball with a Sunset Strip whore? But I didn’t end up dead or crazy or a religious freak like Kirk Cameron, so it’s probably all for the best. But if we’re being completely honest, I’m still a little bit jealous of Kirk Cameron. He was always on the cover of Tiger Beat and really blew up in a way I never quite did. They had me on a few times, too, but it always felt like I was subbing for someone else. The same with Teenwolf, Too. Michael J. Fox says no and they need another bland…
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Divine Advice For Fingers Crossed

Dear Jesus and Satan, It’s me again. I was the one who wrote you a few months back about Mona from Who’s the Boss and Blanche from the Golden Girls. To be honest, I don’t remember your advice, all I know is that I have been feveriously masterbating to the thought of both of them. Honestly, I’m proud of myself….Ive been doing a good job of alternating my fantasies between Mona and Blanche. I thought you’d be proud…I’m rambling. Anyways. I was reading the last entry regarding Tom Cruise, and I have a great idea. Remember when he starred in “Losin It” in 1983? With Shelley Long? Why did Hollywood go away with the loveable concept of young guys who just want to get some? What the Fuck happened? Those movies were all so good? Who’s to blame for this? Is it the Scientologists??? See what I did there? I’m…
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