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Divine Advice For Robert Allen Iger

November 25, 2019 0 Divine Advice , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Original photo by Hyku

Dear Jesus and Satan, You’d think that owning everything would be great, but it’s actually extremely stressful. I like to revel in the failure of others just like everybody else, but now, there are no others. Take Terminator Dark Fate. It turns out that Disney somehow owns this piece of crap and it’s got me hella worried about the five Avatar movies we’re making. Jesus Christ, did we have to go ahead and make five of them? We’ve already spent something like a billion dollars and I have no idea what they’re even about. I think they’re about blue panthers or something? God this is bad. We own Star Wars, Marvel, Fox, and all this other crap, but are people even going to the movies anymore? I just don’t see millions of people shelling out $25 to go see Avatar 4. The merch is still solid (thank God) and Baby…
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TV Review: Modern Family

July 3, 2018 0 Movies and Television, Reviews , , , , , , , , ,

Modern Family TV-PG At first glance, Modern Family appears to be progressive despite its standard archetypes. We have the goofy dad, the two hot moms, a hot 18-year-old girl pretending to be 14, and two guys living together. Gloria Delgado (the feisty latina hot mom) is played by Sofia Vergara, age 45. Her husband is played by Ed O’Neil, age 72, most famous for his role as Al Bundy on Married… with Children. This time around, he plays the exact same character, except old and rich. It’s like Al Bundy won the lottery, dumped Peg, and married a trophy wife. The other hot mom is also a housewife, and so is one of the gays. So we have a sitcom about three “modern” families. All three of them are led by rich white patriarchs, all three of them have wives that don’t work, and all three of the husbands have…
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