Tag Archive: Lena Dunham

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Divine Advice For Allison Williams

November 19, 2018 0 Divine Advice , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dear DA, I’m one of those hot, relatively young, interchangeable actresses in the mold of Amy Adams, Jenna Fischer, and Isla Fisher, except I’m a slightly newer model in the Amanda Peet mold. You may have seen me in Get Out. I play the evil hot white girl. I also play an evil hot white girl in the show Girls, which co-stars Lena Dunham, another evil white girl. The truth about hot white girls, and even ones who are kind of ugly like Lena Dunham, is that we’re all kind of evil. All women are. Anyway, like Amanda Peet, I’m a lean, taut, blue-eyed brunette, and you can kind of tell that I’m evil just by looking at me, which is irresistible to most men. I was perfectly cast in Get Out. If you want to lure black men to their doom and Amanda Peet is out of town, you…
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Divine Advice For Lena Dunham

October 8, 2018 0 Divine Advice , , , ,

Dear Lilith, As the OG feminist I’m sure you can relate, yo. I really just need someone to kind of vent on,you know? I think it’s so sexist that as far as God’s concerned, I’m like just part of some dude’s rib. That’s fucked up. Sexually molesting your (literally) baby sister and murdering a homeless man just because he wanted a piece of fried chicken is fine, because meat is murder and I’m a vegan, but this whole rib thing, it isn’t even vegan! Couldn’t God have given women a vegan option? Like maybe made us out of vegetables? They do it at Dairy Queen. The lady there told me you can get vegan ice cream wrapped in vegan bacon. They make it out of seaweed or something. It’s a thing. The New You, Lena Dunham Dearest Lena, Millenia have passed and you’re supposed to be a prime example of…
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Lena Dunham’s Happy Days

June 27, 2018 0 Movies and Television , , , , , , , , , ,

Happy Days: The Awakening Rated TV-MA For the love of God, another reboot. But let’s put that aside for a moment. I consider myself to be a “woke” individual. I’m an alcoholic who shoots speedballs and frequently cries in front of prostitutes and I refuse to judge myself (or let anyone judge me) for any of it. But Lena Dunham’s Happy Days is beyond temporally biased. It isn’t even insane as much as it’s totally incoherent. The Fonze is played by Rosie O’Donnell. And that’s about the only thing I’m sure about. As far as who anyone else is supposed to be, it’s anyone’s guess. Maybe it’s my unacknowledged biases coming through, but I’d assumed that Jackie Chan was playing Arnold. But apparently, he’s supposed to be Potsie? Or maybe Mrs. Cunningham? One minute he’s talking to Todd Bridges about picking up chicks, the next he’s wearing an apron and…
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