Tag Archive: The Squad

Divine Advice For AOC 3

Dear DA, Recently, the “Squad” and I got criticized for arguing with Obama over defunding the police. They said we, and especially me, were ranting and raving at him like a bunch of deranged harpies. All I said was that people in poor neighborhoods had been complaining about this for years, and no one listened until the word “defund” came into play. I like Obama, and he didn’t have a problem with the discussion or criticism. He used to ask for it. But the Trump supporters did. Anyway, he grew up in Hawai’i, or according to them, Kenya, and I lived in the Bronx. A relatively nice part of the Bronx, but still the Bronx. It’s the part of NYC most people only visit to watch the Yankees, and they generally stay within one block of the stadium. Because the cops care about the Yankees. As far as the rest…
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Divine Advice For Mitt Romney

Dear DA, Maybe you pulled some kind of double-reverse Pinnochio on me, but for the last week or so, I’ve been compelled to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and voting to impeach that knock-kneed babushka was just the beginning. Some people are suddenly under the impression that I’m a “good person,” and that’s just not true. This is hardly surprising to my “friends” and “family,” they’ve known for decades that I’m as rapacious and bloodthirsty as the terrifying bird who symbolizes this once great country. What disappoints them is that I’m just as wooden and dull as I’ve always appeared to be. There is no great intellect or perversion lurking within unless you count my sexual incontinence. I must be the only person in America who isn’t a pervert. I was about to write “man,” but my newfound honesty compels me to acknowledge that…
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