Tag Archive: Patrick Swayze

Divine Advice For Rob Lowe

Dear DA, As a highly woke individual who looks like he’s carved out of soap AND rich AND famous, I’m writing in to apologize on behalf of the Weinsteins, Spaceys, and Louis C.K.s of the world. I had a bit of a scandal in the 80s when I had sex with two underaged girls and videotaped it, but there’s a big difference between what I did and what the Weinstein types did. In my case, I’m handsome, so people have sex with me because they want to have sex with me, whereas with Harvey and the others, people have sex with them because they want to be in a movie or are accosted by a drunk or have a comedy dream or whatever. Obviously, I’m better than them, but I don’t think you should be too hard on them. When you’re fat, old, drunk, and ugly, it’s almost impossible to…
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Movie Review- Ghost II

The 1990 romantic hit Ghost is exactly the type of movie one expects to be remade right about now in this cultural wasteland we call the twenty-first century. So when director Jerry Zucker told the world he was making a sequel instead of a reboot, most of us were a little shocked. When he said he was bringing back Patrick Swayze to play the lead, we were more than shocked—mostly because Patrick Swayze has been dead since 2009. So how did he do it? “None of your damn business” is what Zucker tells anyone who asks. Rumer has it that Whoopi Goldberg can actually summon the dead, but what the hell does Rumer Willis know? Just because both of her parents are in this movie doesn’t mean she knows how they summoned Patrick Swayze’s departed soul. Anyway, as one would imagine, a movie starring an actual ghost is pretty fucking…
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