Tag Archive: Jawas

Divine Advice For Gina Carano 2

Dear Divine Advice, The last time I wrote in, I was only a little canceled, but now it’s for real. The way the angry Internet mob is coming after me is eerily similar to when a certain group of people got together and demanded that the Romans execute you. I’m sure you hate it when people compare themselves to you, but this time, I think the shoe fits. Anyway, now that I no longer have a job I’m trying to figure out my options. Last time, you suggested either porn or professional wrestling, but I think I can do better. Do you have any other ideas? Sincerely, Gina Carano Dear Gina, I have to admit, I’m scratching my head on this one. In the old days, you would have been canceled for gaining a bunch of weight between seasons, but in modern times, letting yourself get fat just means you…
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Movie Review—Solo: A Star Wars Story

Solo: A Star Wars Story is the movie everyone was asking for but nobody really wanted. And why wouldn’t a Star Wars fan want a Han Solo origin story? Because they know what to expect from Disney’s desperate pandering. Focusing on the western film genre influences in Star Wars, Solo casts Alden Ehrenreich in the title role. This is undoubtedly due to his previous role as a goofy cowboy who can’t act in the Coen brothers film Hail, Caesar! Fan reactions to this choice were mostly negative. In discussions of who would have been better, many names are thrown around, including Chris Pratt (too obvious), Chris Pine (Capt. Kirk, really?), and Shia LaBeouf (seems like they weren’t even trying). In my opinion, all of those guys would have sucked, too. Clint Eastwood was the best cowboy of all time and therefore would have made the best young Han Solo. James Stewart’s…
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