TV Review- The Big Bang Theory

The Big Bang Theory

Rated TV-MA

Full disclosure: I’ve never actually seen The Big Bang Theory, but I already know that I hate it. How do I know?

To start, the commercials do an excellent job of showing the viewer exactly what to expect, which is crap. Pure, unmitigated crap. This show has a laugh track. I’ll bet that when people kiss, the laugh track goes “ooooooo!”

The TV-MA rating is another dead giveaway. Kaley Cuoco and the other blond chick aren’t getting naked and making out with a TV-MA, which leaves hetero males and lesbians exactly zero reasons to watch.

Lastly, the people who actually like this show are reprehensible. No offense, but you’re honestly some of the worst people on earth. You’re the reason suicide bombers want to blow us up. How you can willingly choose to watch this crap episode after episode, year after year, when a five second promo is enough to make a decent person vomit in shame, makes this viewer wonder if it was worth evolving from pond scum.   

Again, having never seen the show, my guess is that it’s about a bunch of nerds who want to fuck Kaley Cuoco. Am I close? And I’d bet at least one character talks like a robot, and that Kaley Cuoco’s character is a moron. There’s probably a comic book shop they visit regularly, arguments about Star Wars and other “hip” cultural references, maybe a pizza place or a bar where “the gang” likes to hang out, and, final prediction: one of the nerds does the unthinkable and tries to fuck Blossom.  

This show is in its 10th season with at least two more to come. That’s twelve fucking seasons. At least! Kaley Cuoco is going to be more machine than man when this is all over.

0/5 stars

H. Seitz

H. Seitz

H. Seitz is the author of the Sci-fi novella "Iron Manimal" and a contributing writer at The Skull Island Times.
H. Seitz

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