Divine Advice For Taylor Swift 3
Dear DA, I’ve had a good run for a musician, and I am a musician. And since my recent thickening, I’m one of the most fuckable women on earth. But I can’t help thinking timing has something to do with it. Every week since I’ve been born, and especially since I’ve been famous, something unbelievably awful happens. I got my first handjob on 9/11. My first demo, 1000 people died in Yemen. But to be fair, that happens, like, every week? Stock market crash 2008, my first period. Trump elected, my first strap-on. Coronavirus, my first kiss. I know that seems maybe out of order, but the South is different. So for the average millennial, all straight men, and 90% of women, it’s either look at the most recent weekly horror or look at Taylor Swift. I’m Taylor Swift, and I, like most even remotely self-aware people, hate myself, but…
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