Tag Archive: Paul Bettany

Divine Advice For Marjorie Taylor Greene

Dear Divine Advice, I’m writing to you today to ask for strength. Last night, I watched the movie Big hoping to find secret proof of Tom Hanks’s involvement with QAnon, but the exact opposite happened. Instead, I found myself rooting for Tom and hoping for his safe return to suburban life. In the film, he’s actually a victim of pedophilia, not the perpetrator. I know it’s pretty common for abusers to have been abused themselves, so the story should have actually reinforced the theory. The problem is Hanks was just so damn likable, and it has caused me to question everything. If Q can be wrong about the most Hollywood man in Hollywood, who else could he be wrong about? I woke up in a cold sweat this morning from a dream that I was having a pleasant brunch with none other than Hillary Clinton herself. Hillary Clinton! The worst…
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