Horoscopes for 3.1.19
Just in case any of you might have forgotten: This isn’t just another one of those “horoscopes” that spews out vague platitudes that could apply to anyone. No no no. When you’re reading and start to think “gee whiz, this really seems to be about me,” that’s because it is. The stars know. I know. Your horoscope seems like it’s about all of those intimate details you shared with me in confidence because it is. You can’t have it both ways. You can either get cryptic gibberish, or a real, straight from the tea leaves/horse’s mouth/duck’s intestines horoscope. A lot of horses and ducks had to die for these horoscopes. Now that I think about it, the horses didn’t actually have to be killed, but rest assured, they’re all dead. We are very special apes. We’re the apes that laugh and cry, like chimps, baboons (technically monkeys), and gorillas.…
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