Tag Archive: David Harbour

Divine Advice For Florence Pugh

Dear Divine Advice, I’m in the best movie of the year, but for some reason, all anyone is talking about is my relationship with Zach Braff. I get it. He’s 21 years older than I am, and looks like the offspring of John Stewart and Butt-Head, but he’s got a good heart, six-pack abs, and lots of Hollywood connections. Oh, and he has a huuuuuuuuuuuge cock. I’m talking 13 inches soft, nine inches hard. I’m not sure why it gets smaller—I think he may have circulation issues—but nine inches is more than enough for me. And did I mention that his cum tastes like blood sausage? Because it does. And it’s delicious. I swear, I’m guzzling so much of his blood sausage cum that they’ll have to surgically apply that tight Black Widow costume for the next movie. It’s worth it. Anyway, my question is what can I do to…
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