Tag Archive: Chris Rock
The Skull Island Times > Chris Rock
H. Seitz
March 30, 2022
Divine Advice
Bad Boys For Life, Chris Rock, Chris Tucker, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Jackie Chan, Jada Pickett Smith, Men in Black III, Rush Hour, The Karate Kid, Will Smith
Dear DA, I really don’t know what the big deal is. I’m just an ordinary guy who slaps his maids and butlers like everyone else, and how am I supposed to teach my children how to behave properly if I can’t even be a good example for them on TV? I know Chris Rock isn’t technically my butler, but you expect a certain standard from the maitre’d hotel, and he didn’t even bring me a wine list. And then he goes off and insults my bald, beautiful wife? So what if she looks like a 14-year-old boy? I wouldn’t have it any other way. At least I still won the championship of being an actor, I should have won years ago for Men in Black III and Bad Boys for Life. I told the producers we should have spelled it Bad Boys 4 Life, and they didn’t listen and I…
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H. Seitz
January 15, 2020
Movies and Television, Reviews
Chris Rock, Ghostbusters, Golden Globe, Judd Nelson, New Jack City, Pookie, Spike Lee, The Crying Game
New Jack CIty – Rated R Could this story have been told linearly? Yes (it probably would’ve been less confusing). Could it have been told today? Absolutely not. A movie about an evil black man taking advantage of his own people just wouldn’t fly in our more enlightened age. But to be fair, it’s easier to take advantage of your own people. You probably live closer to them. The slave trade, as profitable as it was, was a horrible commute for most of the Caucasians involved. There are a lot of mysteries in New Jack City. Is Gee Money’s girlfriend a trannie? I really expected this to be a “surprise” twist until it wasn’t. I’d go as far as to call New Jack City The Crying Game 1.0, but for whatever reason, the powers that be decided against it. Maybe they figured (incorrectly) that they had no shot at an…
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