Tag Archive: The Twilight Zone

Divine Advice For Ariana Grande

Dear DA, You ever see the episode of The Twilight Zone where the lady rubs cream on her face that makes her young and beautiful, but every time it wears off, she’s like super old and even uglier, so she has to keep using it like every four hours or something or she’ll turn into a deformed old troll if she stops? Yeah, that. And Disney also has me on these puberty-blocking hormones so I have the body of an 11-year old even though I’m really 103 (long story). So I’m stuck in this weird place where I have grey pubic hair and no boobs and I have to keep smearing this cream all over myself or I’ll turn into a ghost, and the cream is like $79 a bucket and all I have are these e-coins. I guess this is the price of pop perfection, and the deal I…
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