Tag Archive: Whopper
The Skull Island Times > Whopper
H. Seitz
April 8, 2021
Fiction
Burger King, Charlton Heston, The Ten Commandments, Whopper
Or more accurately, days I partially remember. I can’t recall why, but I was stuck late at high school during a blizzard. By the time I left, all the busses were gone, and my usual route home, through a path across a patch of forest, was impossible. There was at least three feet of snow on the ground. My only choice was to take the driveway out of the school and use the roads, which were being plowed and salted hourly. It added about a mile to my trip, but I figured it was easier than trudging through the snow. It was a bad decision, but I’ll never know if it was the wrong or worse one. The road was covered in slush and cars kept splattering me. Within minutes, I was drenched from head to toe and freezing. About halfway home, I reached a Burger King and stopped to…
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Bridget McCrea
December 3, 2018
Divine Advice
Amy Adams, Burger King, Heath Bar, Kit Kat, Michael Jordan, Ryan Gosling, Whopper
Dear DA, I’m one of the whitest people on earth, and as a woke individual, I am totally aware of my white male privilege and try not to take advantage of it. But something strange happened recently that has me scratching my head. I went into a Burger King and the line was almost to the door. There must have been at least 15 people in front of me. After a quick scan, I determined that all of them were minorities. There were a few black guys, a couple Mexicans, and the rest of them were fat white women. So as is my privilege, I budged in front of all of them, and they started to complain! I explained to them about white male privilege, and that I only take advantage of it in emergency situations, like when I’m really hungry (I’m hypoglycemic, so it really was an emergency). I…
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