Horoscopes for 12.21.18
Aries You’ll finally bed your crush this weekend, and they sleep like a baby, which is to say that they piss and shit themselves and cry demanding to be picked up and soothed every 45 minutes. What a stupid expression. Famous Aryans: Joseph Goebbels, Hermann Goering, Heinrich Himmler Taurus Your symbol is officially being changed from a bull to a jackass. You were always full of bullshit, hence the bull, but lately, your toothy laughter and obnoxious braying is more reminiscent of the rightfully demeaned jackass. Famous Jackasses: Eeyore, Rocinante, Baba Looey Gemini Your actions and behaviors seem designed to create long-term problems for others, but that isn’t true at all. You just aren’t smart enough to think that far ahead. It’s closer to the truth to say that you’re just kind of cursed. Famous Twins: Mary-Kate and Ashley, Vin Diesel and Paul Sinclair, Amy Adams and Isla Fisher Cancer…
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