Author Archive: Dennis Jenkins
The Skull Island Times > Articles by: Dennis Jenkins
Dennis Jenkins
October 29, 2018
Divine Advice
Bill Clinton, Brookstone, Catherine the Great, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Jesus Christ, Satan, The Devil
Dear Divine Advice, Is it possible that this is the first time I’ve ever written in? I know that my name pops up a lot in your columns, mostly because of the fact that my husband and I are revolting people. We don’t have to go through the list (it’s extensive), but I get it, we really are awful. So, I have a confession to make. Even after losing the Presidential race a couple of years back, I still want to get into the Oval Office. A lot of people assume it’s because I am a power craving egomaniac, which is true, but….here it is, I really just want to fuck a horse. Catherine the Great has always been a great source of inspiration to me, and I’ve always associated great political power with Horse fucking. It’s a little-known secret that every U.S. President …yes, every one, fucks a horse…
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Dennis Jenkins
April 5, 2018
Food, Reviews
What the Fuck is wrong with the Youth of America? I mean seriously…these little fucktards and their God Damned Tide Pods. I mean what the fuck???? They’re eating Detergent. Jesus Fuck!!! Yes, JESUS FUCK. I swear to fucking God if one of my little fucktard kids eats a Fucking Tide Pod, I will fucking Shit myself!!! In my day it was “Whip Its”, and we turned out just fine. Fuck my face!! Oh, how I miss those days! We weren’t hurting anyone, just getting high off of some fucking Whipped Cream! These Little Fuckwits are just too fucking stupid. WHO EATS FUCKING DETERGENT!!!!!!!! I tell you what, let’s see what the rage is all about, ok? I’ll give you one thing, they look very tasty, and that fucking weird exterior feels pretty amazing in my hands. Should I lick it? Hmm, you know what? It’s not bad. That…
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