Bruce Banner Discusses GOP Tax Bill/ Hulk Discusses Net Neutrality

I woke up outside again naked with a dog licking my scrotum. The movies and comics leave this out, but when I turn into the Hulk, I’m entirely naked. Shorts don’t hold up in the real world. And at least 70% of the time, it’s a dog that finds me and wakes me up. They must like my Hulk musk or something.

Ever since Trump got elected, I don’t think I’ve gone more than two days without turning into the Hulk. Every time I turn back into myself, by the time I wander back into civilization, find clothes, etc, I inevitably run across at least one newspaper article or television report that turns me right back into the Hulk.

I woke up in a red state, so I maybe have a few more minutes tops to write this. I can already hear an old man justifying the GOP Tax Bill. He’s saying that when there’s a tax cut, of course the rich get a bigger break because they’re paying more in the first place. This would be true if everyone was given a cut at the same rate or percentage, but that’s not what’s happening here. What’s happening here is that the rich and the super rich are getting a cut, and the poor and the middle class (what’s left of them) are paying more. Medicaid, social security, and other essential programs will be gutted so some evil billionaire can buy another golden dildo.

I don’t know what the hell is wrong with these people. How can having billions of dollars not be enough? It’s a sick compulsion, like hoarding, except even worse because they are actively fucking poor people over, and I get the feeling they get off on it.

Getting angry. Oh fuck it’s happening again.


The Incredible Hulk Discusses Net Neutrality

Net neutrality complicated issue for Hulk, but Hulk know net neutrality good. No net neutrality maybe kill independent sites and cheap alternative service like Facetime. But most important, maybe kill free porn. Days of free porn maybe over.

Hulk very concerned about free porn. Hulk no pay for porn for over 20 years. Hulk no can go back to world where jerk off in magazine or pause VHS. No more creampie, mixed wrestling, white shit. No more amazon prod. Hulk like amazon prod. Ladies look almost like Hulk. Lately Hulk even experiment beastiality. Have weird dreams of dogs licking scrotum.

Internet wild and free like wild west Republicans want back in real world. Hulk no understand why want wild west in real life, but want eliminate free porn. After GOP Tax Bill, only rich people able to afford prostitutes. Poor people fucked one way and blue balled other.  Hulk green, but balls still blue.

Write to congressperson. Demand free porn!

H. Seitz

H. Seitz

H. Seitz is the author of the Sci-fi novella "Iron Manimal" and a contributing writer at The Skull Island Times.
H. Seitz

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