Tag Archive: Yang Gang

Divine Advice For Andrew Yang 2

Dear Divine Advice, Recently, I had an epiphany: the best way to win the election for mayor of NYC is to become Mike Bloomberg. So far it seems to be working. Some of my more progressive supporters got a little pissed off about my Israel comments, but what can I say? There are more Jews in NY than Muslims, and the Jews have more money. Of course, my stance on the Middle East has no real policy implications within the city, but it’s an issue that matters to certain donors whose asses I need to kiss, and I said what I had to say for their endorsement. The truth is, I don’t really give a shit about what’s happening over there. My other Bloomberg-like policy idea is a little more consequential and a little more controversial because it’s about crime. The rest of the country might not have noticed this,…
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Divine Advice For Andrew Yang

Dear DA, I’m one of the 47 Democrats running for president, the Asian one named Yang. Not that one, the other Asian. The one who’s trying to bribe everyone into voting for me. One grand a month free and easy, yo, from the Yang Dog. That’s what they used to call me in my hood in Schenectady. It’s a little town in Upstate NY. There’s a rose garden and an old-timey movie theater and absolutely nothing else. That’s why I had to choose the thug life. To get some respect, yo. First, I have a confession to make. No one really used to call me the Yang Dog. I just made that up. I’m not even sure why. I thought it would make me sound cool. If you just add “Dog” to the end of your name, you’re cool. At least most of the time. I thought it would work…
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