Tag Archive: Rudy Guilliani

Divine Advice For Rudy Giuliani

Dear DA, I still know Trump is going to win and everything is going to be fine. But just in case, what do you think about Scientology? I know you have to start at the bottom, by cleaning Tom Cruise’s cars and some other weird shit, but for a guy like me, there might not be a lot of other options left. From what they tell me, I sign over all my assets, which at this point, isn’t all that much. For Trump, as his lawyer, I think it’d be a massive win. He gets a new job cleaning hubcaps and they get his billions of dollars of debt. Still, as a tax-exempt “religion,” I think this could work out for all of us. Trump is practically a cult leader as it is. You put these two massive cults together and BAM! Trump 2024. Or Cruise-Trump 2024. I hear they…
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