Tag Archive: Robert Kraft

Divine Advice For Robert Kraft

Dear DA, What the fuck? Isn’t prostitution legal? I mean I know it isn’t technically “legal”, but it’s everywhere. Everyone knows it. What do you think those ads for personal escorts are for? Jesus Christ. And what the hell is with these young people today? I’ve never seen a bigger bunch of busy-bodied tattletales. They’re worse than the Catholic church. For the love of God what a bunch of fucking prudes. So no prostitutes allowed is what they’re saying? That I’m “exploiting” women? That hooker cost me five large, so who exactly is exploiting who? Don’t get me wrong, she was worth every penny. My wife, God bless her soul, is dead. And do you know how many women are interested in having an honest, meaningful relationship with a 77 year-old billionaire? I’ll tell you how many: zero. And I don’t blame them. They want a relationship with the billions…
Read more

Share this post:

Divine Advice For Gisele

Dear Divine Advice, I don’t know what to do. My husband is probably going to get fired from his celebrity sports job and that will mean less spotlight for me. Do you know how many people watch the Super Bowl and Patriot games in general? Well of course you do – it’s a lot! I can’t imagine not being able to showboat on such a large platform. As you know, I gain my powers off feeling smug and superior this will put a major damper on everything I stand for. What else is there for me? I don’t breastfeed my kids anymore so I can’t tell be sanctimonious about that. Brigid Moynahan remarried and is actually happy so I can’t make fun of her and convince her son I’m better than her any longer. Chinbutt Tom won’t be working out as much anymore so I can’t put out ridiculous Paleo…
Read more

Share this post: