Tag Archive: O.J. SImpson

Divine Advice for Amanda Knox

Dear DA, There’s still a lot of controversy between who’s hotter, me or Casey Anthony? Without makeup, I win hands-down, and Casey Anthony has a strange giant forehead and lives in Florida, so that should automatically disqualify her from hotness, voting, or playing chess by default. The sun down there is murder on your skin, so she probably looks even worse than she used to. Like everyone else in their right mind, I think Casey did it. She looks nuts, with her wandering eyes and bulging cranium. I look colder and more calculating, but I’m also the kind of girl you’d take home to your parents. I speak properly, don’t dress like a tramp (cough-Casey Anthony-cough), and I’ve kept it high and tight, which is why I got a Netflix special. Meanwhile, Casey is out pretending to be a PI and probably searching for the “real killer” OJ style. How…
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Horoscopes For 2.4.19

Aries Most people are unaware that much of what they consider to be totally normal about themselves is actually not. Like you, for instance. Regularly forgetting how to spell words like “cat” and “dog” isn’t normal. And if you have the feeling that you may have suffered a concussion, or perhaps even several, you shouldn’t just shrug your shoulders and blow it off. There are medical techniques that could help you, and your lapses in judgment, black outs, and “memory holes” are putting others at risk. That you have a job and somehow manage to make it to work is a miracle. Take advantage of your health insurance.    Famous Aries Event: The first space shuttle Columbia launched April 12, 1986 Taurus Whenever people think of you, they wonder why they ever put up with you in the first place. You’re one of those people who reads books about how…
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