Tag Archive: NBA

Divine Advice For Adam Silver

Dear DA, I’m filled with both pride and horror that the NBA is apparently more powerful than the mainstream media, the CDC, and state and local governments. A doctor in Seattle starts barking about this virus in January, and nothing. Crickets. Rudy Gobert goes down, and suddenly shit gets real, especially after I suspended the season. Trump supporters can ignore or deny a lot of reality, and Americans are used to America responding to outbreaks responsibly, so they just kind of take it for granted that either America is doing what it’s supposed to or it isn’t that bad. Until the NBA gets suspended, because when the hell has that ever happened? I can’t remember it ever happening before, can you? (Seriously, I can’t). So that must mean the virus isn’t a hoax, because the NBA, well, I’m familiar with it. So it’s time to start hoarding toilet paper. It…
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Divine Advice for NASCAR President Mike Helton

Dear DA, I noticed Trump has started putting up signage on his podium when he goes out to make a speech or do a press conference. It’s like I’ve been sayin’ all along: Trump is truly our first NASCAR president. Him and I are of a similar mind (and haircut), and this little idea is catching like wildfire. The NBA, NHL, NFL; hell, even MLB is starting to sell space on their unis. Even the Yankees. They refuse to sell the naming rights to their stadium for now, which has to make you hate them just a little bit less, but they’ll come around. Before you know it, Yankee Stadium will be the Google Thunderdome and all of their uniforms will be covered in patches for Arby’s, Build-a-Bear, Carl’s Junior and the like. I’ll betcha even Victoria’s Secret gets in on the act. Won’t that be something? Some 6’4” greaser…
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