Tag Archive: Nancy Pelosi

Divine Advice For Baby New Year 2021

Original graphic by Dixie Allan

Dear Divine Advice, Talk about pressure. I’m barely a day old and all anyone is talking about is what a dumpster fire 2020 was and how 2021 has to be so much better. Well I’ve got news for everyone. The date changing on the calendar doesn’t magically wash away all of last year’s problems. Sure, we have a COVID vaccine and a new president, but the government overall is just as dysfunctional as it was before and people are just as stupid. That means the distribution of the vaccine is going to be slow, and since the country is so divided, you have a bunch of idiots who don’t want to take it anyway. Pile on the fact that the economy is still shut down and will be for many more months, and you’re looking at a Baby New Year who’s likely to follow in his father’s footsteps. I can’t…
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Divine Advice For Axl Rose

Dear DA, My entire life, I’ve been cursed. Right after I finished high school, they built a Taco Bell right next to it. Half the reason I moved to LA was for burritos. And I used to love Dr. Pepper, but I got into a fight with Dr. Pepper, so no more Dr. Pepper, and if you don’t drink Dr. Pepper, what are you supposed to get at Taco Bell? Mountain Dew? They have these disgusting energy drinks on tap now, too. I was never happy with anything or anyone or the world in general. Slash was okay, but I needed Bucket Head. Once I got him, I couldn’t stand him. I wish everyone except Bucket Head would wear a bucket on their head so I wouldn’t have to look their stupid blubbery faces. I barely graduated from high school, but at least I know what the American flag looks…
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