Tag Archive: Mary Magdalene

Divine Advice For AOC 2

Dear DA, I’ve gotten a lot of criticism for the Green New Deal, apparently from people who haven’t even read it. It’s only 11 pages long, and in a big font, and has lots of bullet points. No paragraph is longer than three or four sentences. I should have included memes about ponies and unicorns. They say I’m crazy, that I don’t understand economics, that what I want to do will bankrupt America, but that just isn’t the case. If you read it, I basically want to make America a developed country again. Clean water, clean power, and affordable healthcare, and they want to crucify me. I know you’ve been crucified, and it doesn’t look good. Other countries have shown us several ways to have better, cheaper healthcare that covers everyone. Really, any other way than ours. I don’t think these people understand just how much a billion dollars is.…
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Divine Advice For Robert Kraft

Dear DA, What the fuck? Isn’t prostitution legal? I mean I know it isn’t technically “legal”, but it’s everywhere. Everyone knows it. What do you think those ads for personal escorts are for? Jesus Christ. And what the hell is with these young people today? I’ve never seen a bigger bunch of busy-bodied tattletales. They’re worse than the Catholic church. For the love of God what a bunch of fucking prudes. So no prostitutes allowed is what they’re saying? That I’m “exploiting” women? That hooker cost me five large, so who exactly is exploiting who? Don’t get me wrong, she was worth every penny. My wife, God bless her soul, is dead. And do you know how many women are interested in having an honest, meaningful relationship with a 77 year-old billionaire? I’ll tell you how many: zero. And I don’t blame them. They want a relationship with the billions…
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