Tag Archive: Kevin James

Divine Advice For Ben Kenobi

Dear DA, I’m writing in as Ben Kenobi because this question pertains to the time I spent as Ben Kenobi. You might have noticed that Tatooine doesn’t have much of a need for skilled laborers aside from mechanics or computer techs (damn droids/immigrants), and aside from sword fighting, which would be too suspicious, and being really bad at diplomacy, which actually helps you to be a successful diplomat (if you can never solve any problems, there’s your job security right there—unless of course, a war breaks out, which they inevitably do), I have no marketable skills. Or at least that’s what I thought. There are slaves on Tatooine and other problems, and like most places, you need someone to solve those problems, illegally or not. As I can feel the Force flowing through all living things, I made an incredibly good exterminator. There wasn’t much prestige in that, but I…
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Divine Advice: Hot For Teecher

Those juicy melons were jiggling in such a way that it appeared as though they were about to bounce right out of her bra and make a break for it. Dear Jesus and Satan, I’ve got a major problem here. Last night at a parent-teacher conference, I accidentally fell in love with my kid’s math teacher and grabbed her tits. Not exactly in that order, but both of those things happened. To be honest, I’m not really sure what came over me. I was sitting across from Miss Allison at her desk as she was beaming about how my son was by far the brightest kid in her class, and the whole time, I just couldn’t stop staring at her cleavage. Her face is pretty, too—nice milky skin, bright red hair, nearly symmetrical eyes, full lips and nerdy hipster glasses. Because she was giving me good news about my kid,…
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