Tag Archive: Hyundai Elantra

Divine Advice For Nicolas Cage

Dear DA, I know I seem like a buffoon for spending all of my money on alpacas and Hyundai Elantras so the alpacas can have demolition derbys in the Elantras to entertain the many fine and strange prostitutes that inhabit each of my many mansions, but it’s like you said, it’s harder for a rich man to get into heaven than to dry hump a camel through the eye of the needle, dude. So I blow all my money and think of it as an investment in my angel’s wings. After all, you can’t take it with you (can you?) and I have my earthly needs. Ghost Rider should have been in that movie with Thanos. I was actually banking on it, as that would have been truer to the comics, but those Disney people screwed me. That mouse has got teeth. Everyone warned me, but I didn’t listen. So…
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