Tag Archive: Gronk

Divine Advice For Tom Brady

Dear DA, Like most people in Boston, I’m a diehard racist and closeted homosexual. It’s kind of our thing here in Massachusetts. I have to hide my racism and homosexuality because one is not politically correct and the other one is just wrong, but I figure I might as well be honest with you guys. I voted for Donald Trump and I continue to support him. And I get very little flack for this because I’m a handsome quarterback. Like handsome quarterbacks everywhere, I can get away with just about anything. If I wanted to beat my wife or my mistress or my secret gay concubine, I could do it in public on camera and maybe get a token two game suspension and a small fine. The same goes for my kids. I could beat them black and blue with a big stick and basically, nothing bad would happen to…
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