Tag Archive: Bill Murray

Divine Advice For Molly Ringwald

Dear DA, Can you believe I’m 51? Doesn’t it just make you want to kill yourself? A lot of you remember jerking off to me as young children, or at least trying to, and since I haven’t been famous for a while, you probably still remember me as being in my early 20s. When you don’t see someone for 10 or 20 years, they don’t age in your mind. Then, when you suddenly see them again after all those years, it’s like yikes! Why do people’s heads keep on growing? It’s freaky. The rest of your body shrinks, but your head becomes enormous. Still, I can’t complain. There were a few years in my late 30s/early 40s when I was hotter than I’d ever been before. I actually had boobs and everything else was still high and tight. It was like my body’s last stand, a final oasis before the…
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Movie Review: Goonies vs. The Ghostbusters

I’m going to cut to the chase here. Goonies vs. Ghostbusters is probably the best movie I have ever seen in my entire life. Unfortunately, because of contractual disputes, I may be the only person who ever gets to see it. As we were leaving his private screening room, director Sean Astin told me he plans to burn the only copy of the film before Hollywood big wigs can get their mitts on it. He fought hard to keep every brilliant, yet controversial word of Dan Ackroyd’s screenplay, and he was not about to let the studio dumb things down for mainstream audiences. Because this masterpiece will be destroyed before it ever sees the light of day, I can give a detailed account without worrying about spoilers. Let’s start with the cast. On the Goonies side,  Astin returns as Mikey, with Josh Brolin, Ke Huy Quan, Kerry Green, and Martha…
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