Movie Review: Hobbs and Shaw

Hobbs and Shaw is the gay action-adventure rom-com the entire world has been waiting for, and it comes up big time (pun intended). For everyone wondering what went wrong with Captain Marvel and Titty Titty Gang Bang, pay attention. 

We’ve all been “woke” for at least five or six years now, and even most of the non-woke community (a minority we should be allies to, btw) couldn’t care less about who’s sleeping with who as long as all of the participants are consenting adults. We no longer need the communist ethnostate ideology rammed down our throats. What we do need rammed down our throats is a little physics-defying stunt the fringe gay community refers to as The Rodeo Clown, and not only do the leads pull it off like seasoned pornographers, it happens organically. It isn’t in your face until it is, and by then, you want it to be. 

All of the oafish banter and gratuitous crotch shots we’ve come to expect from The Fast and Furious universe are here, as well as the overarching theme of family above all else (and in all else, and under all else, and rammed into orifices that would have most of us screaming stop or else). The chemistry between The Rock and Jason Stratham is parthenogenetic. They push each other to the limits of human dignity, and then they push a little harder. Idris Elba’s penis, or as he likes to call it, his “Wounded Knee” (when you see it, you’ll understand) is spectacular as usual. 

Hobbs and Shaw is the best action movie of the summer. It’s a popcorn movie, it’s a nuanced social commentary, and it has some of the most acrobatic male-on-male action ever put to film. 

5 Stars

H. Seitz
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