Do I Live in a Bad Neighborhood The Skull Island Times > Lifestyles > Do I Live in a Bad Neighborhood H. Seitz January 9, 2019 0 Lifestyles 1. If I need a police officer: (1) No problem, there’s a cop on every corner (2) The police show up within 10 minutes (3) We turn on the Bat Signal 2. My neighborhood is famous because: (1) Benjamin Franklin used to drink at the local bar (2) An NBA player or a rapper grew up here (3) Derek Jeter used to play baseball here 3. It’s difficult to sleep sometimes because: (1) The trains are too loud (2) I can hear too many airplanes (3) Too much screaming 4. The best deal in my neighborhood is: (1) Unlimited Bloody Marys with brunch on Sunday (2) The $3 bacon egg and cheese on a roll (3) 75 cent cans of Coca Cola 5. On my way home at night, I see: (1) People jogging (2) People urinating (3) Abandoned buildings 6. Friends visiting me always comment on: (1) No Starbucks (2) The graffitti (3) The feral cats 7. On New Year’s Eve, I hear: (1) Fireworks in the distance (2) Loud music (3) Gunfire 8. I buy groceries at: (1) Boutique delis (2) Whole Foods (3) The 99 cent store 9. My building has: (1) Too many fruit flies (2) Too many rats and roaches (3) Too many mysterious bum puddles 10. The local park has: (1) A dog park (2) Benches with strategic armrests to prevent homeless people from sleeping (3) An abandoned couch Author Recent Posts H. SeitzH. Seitz is the author of the Sci-fi novella "Iron Manimal" and a contributing writer at The Skull Island Times. Latest posts by H. Seitz (see all) Divine Advice for Matt Damon 12 - January 15, 2022 Divine Advice for Superman 3 - December 20, 2021 Divine Advice for Shaq - November 1, 2021 Share this post: ← Previous post Next post → Leave a Comment Cancel replyYour email address will not be published. Required fields are marked * Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email.